funny love quotes

Life is not the same without humor. Whenever we express our love to someone, we do not always need to be so serious. When you mix your words and actions with a bit of humor, your loved one will find your moments together more memorable and special. Did you also know that for most women, humor makes them and their partners sexier and more attractive? Throwing funny and cute love words to your partner gives a whole new meaning to your relationship. You feel more comfortable with each other, which makes the relationship lasting.

Being with someone you love the most already brings a smile to your face. However, the fun and fun moments you share will make you even more eager for everyone's presence.

We want to help you put some color into your relationship by sharing some of the funniest love quotes we could find. We hope these quotes will make you laugh and get closer than ever!

Funny quotes of love

1. My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine's Day, I gave her a ring and to this day, she never forgot those three little words engraved on the inside – Made in Taiwan. – Leopold Fetchner

2. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheats in Europe. – Jackie Mason

3. True love is like hiding the truth, even when you are offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. – David Sedaris

4. To marry a man of his age; as your beauty fades, its sight will disappear. – Phyllis Diller

5. The wedding has no guarantee. If that's what you're looking for, get started with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

6. Love, that's share your popcorn. – Charles Schultz

7. Romance is the icing on the cake, but love is the cake.

8. Where love is the case, the doctor is a donkey. – English proverb

9. The love is the same, except that you feel sexier. – Judith Viorst

10. I did not kiss her, I murmured in her mouth. – Chico Marx

11. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers

12. I got married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

13. A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. – Spanish proverb

14. He glanced at her that you could have poured on a waffle. – Ring Lardier

15. Marrying a man is like buying something you have long admired in a shop window. You may like it at home, but that does not always go with everything else. – Jean Kerr

funny love quotes

16. Romantic love is a mental illness. But it's a pleasure. – Fran Lebowitz

17. Do not make love by the garden gate, love is blind, but not neighbors.

18. Marriage is like a pantyhose. It all depends on what you put in it. – Phyllis Schlafly

19. Love is about telling someone that their zipper is open or that their wig looks too fake.

20. What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. – Cindy Garner

21. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheats in Europe. – Jackie Mason

22. According to Newton's law of love, love can not be created or destroyed. However, this can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets.

23. If love is a blunder, then it means that the biggest fault of my life is to love you.

24. Will you give me a kiss? I promise to return it.

25. My head and my heart will never cease their endless war. When my head says "I'm mad, my heart says 'I care'. When my head says "I do not think about it, my heart says" of course you do it ".

26. This is not love that complicates relationships. it's the people who work there.

27. Gravitation is not responsible for people who fall in love. – Albert Einstein

28. Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. – Thomas Dewar

29. Love is very much like a backache, it's not visible on X-rays, but you know it's there. – George Burns

30. I love you more than coffee, but do not force me to prove it. – Elizabeth Evans

31. The four most important words in any marriage. Im going to do the dishes.

32. All you need is love. But a little chocolate from time to time does not hurt. – Charles M. Schulz

33. Love is a reciprocal self-giving that leads to self recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen

34. If you love them in the morning with eyes full of crust; if you like them at night with their hair full of locks, there is a good chance that you are in love. – Miles Davis

35. My mind works wonderfully 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I know you.

36. Do not feel bad if you see your ex with someone else. Remember, our parents taught us to give what we do not need to the less fortunate.

37. I want to be the reason why you look at your phone, you will have that silly smile, you will jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then you will fall into a manhole.

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38. During my days, teenagers talk about cinema, music and love. Now all the kids are talking about sex, relationship and grief.

39. Love is like a headache or a backache. It does not appear in the MRI or the X-ray, but you just know it's there.

40. It is almost impossible to stay in love for more than 5 years. Stay in love with the same person because the rest of your life is a miracle.

funny love quotes

41. Marriage does not only require you to cope with expenses and the toilet bowl, you must also deal with the feelings and the last resort, the lawyers.

42. Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs.

43. You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my naughty list.

44. The girls cry until they are dry, while the boys drink their beer until their mug is completely dry.

45. I wish a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go ahead and slow down when I took this path of love madness.

46. ​​I want to be your good morning, your good night and your most painful goodbyes.

47. Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. Go find him. The poor bastard can be lost, stuck on an island or something.

48. Falling in love is terribly simple, but falling in love is simply awful.

49. Love with the elderly is like the sun on the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. – J. P. Senn

50. My brother is gay and my parents do not care as long as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler

51. When you're in love, it's the best two and a half days of your life. – Richard Lewis

52. Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement the minimum daily needs of each one. – Kathy Mohnke

53. Love does not make the world go around. The love is what makes the course interesting. – Franklin P. Jones

54. Women can no longer complain about men until they start to taste better. – Bill Maher

55. My wife receives all the money I earn. I just got an apple and clean clothes every morning. – Ray Romano

56. Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. – Professor Irwin Corey

57. A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible really know the content.

58. What is the best way for your husband to remember your birthday? Get married for her birthday. – Cindy Garner

59. Love is the answer, but in the meantime, sex raises very good questions. – Woody Allen

60. If only one could say the true love of false love as one can say toads fungi. – Katherine Mansfield

61. Women hope that men will change after marriage, but this is not the case; men hope that women will not change, but they do. – Bettina Arndt

62. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, have your ears checked. – Erich Segal

63. You add meaning to my life and yet you subtract money from my wallet.

funny love quotes

64. You look like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make things better.

65. Loss of words? Give this person a hug. It's worth a thousand and more. Plus, it's free.

66. You are the cheese on my spaghetti, the cream on my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake.

67. You are the cause of the fogging of my glasses.

68. A person in love becomes partly a poet, a composer and the most secretive person in the room.

69. I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call.

70. You'll know that a person is in love when she can laugh like an idiot and keep a silly smile all day on her face.

71. Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. – Carroll Bryant

72. A man in love is not complete until he is not married. So he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

73. Love is the only type of fire that is never covered by insurance.

74. I love you no matter what you do, but should you do the same? – Jean Illsley Clarke

75. An archaeologist is the best husband that a woman can have. the older she gets, the more she is interested in her. – Agatha Christie

76. True love is like ghosts, of which everyone speaks and few have seen. – François de La Rochefoucauld

77. Love is blind but marriage is a real revelation. – Pauline Thomason

78. Love does not fall on you unexpectedly; you have to emit signals, much like an amateur radio operator. – Helen Gurley Brown

79. I dreamed that I still loved you. I think I woke up screaming. – Christine

80. Love is fun, but it is not going to pay the bills. – Jessica Martin

81. It was not love at first sight. It took five minutes. – Lucille Ball

82. I love you so much that I would fight a bear for you. Not a grizzly bear because they have claws, not a panda because they know Kung Fu. But a teddy bear, I would certainly fight for you.

83. A man falls in love with his eyes, a woman with his ears. – The Dawson

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84. People should fall in love with their eyes closed. – Andy Warhol

85. If you send a "I love you" message to someone and that person responds back to an emoji, no matter what he is, he does not like you in return. – Chelsea Peretti

86. Before marrying a person, you must first ask him to use a computer with a slow Internet service to see who she really is. – Will Ferrell

87. I thought I was promiscuous, but it turned out that I was just deepened. – Russell Brand

88. I like to be married. It's so good to find a special person that you want to bore for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

funny love quotes

89. If you send a text message "I love you" to someone and that person responds back to an emoji – no matter what he is, he will not like you in return. – Chelsea Peretti

90. Love tells someone that her hair extensions are visible. – Natasha Leggero

91. I'm doing a Jewish porn movie. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt. – Henny Youngman

92. My friends tell me that I have a problem of intimacy. But they do not really know me. – Garry Shandling

93. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can pretend, you are in it. – Richard Jeni

94. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question, please? – Lily Tomlin

95. Being a good husband, it's like being a comedian. You need 10 years before you can start calling. – Jerry Seinfeld

96. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers

97. Of course, if I were serious about a long-term relationship with someone, the last people I would introduce would be my family. – Chelsea Manager

98. Love is very much like a backache: it's not visible on X-rays, but you know it's there. – George Burns

99. I got married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

100. Love is the answer, but in the meantime, sex raises very good questions. – Woody Allen

101. If you can stay in love for more than two years, you are living something. – Fran Lebowitz

102. Marriage is really difficult because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. – Richard Pryor

103. Women need only three things in life: food, water and compliments. – Chris Rock
104. My wife was afraid of the dark … then she saw me naked and she is now afraid of the light. – Rodney Dangerfield

105. I know a man who has stopped smoking, drinking, making love and eating rich foods. He was in good health until the moment he was killed. – Johnny Carson

106. My brother is gay and my parents do not care as long as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler

107. My wife receives all the money I earn. I just got an apple and clean clothes every morning. – Ray Romano

108. I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. – Jack Benny

109. The love is grandiose; the divorce is one hundred thousand.

110. Women love confident bald men. – Larry David

111. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. – Billy Crystal

112. I had almost a psychic girlfriend but she left me before our meeting. – Steven Wright

funny love quotes

113. My phone's battery lasts longer than most of my relationships today.

114. If she falls, I'll be there to laugh at the beginning, then to help her get up. – J.A. Redmerski

115. Love is a fire. But whether it's heating your home or burning your house, you'll never know it. – Joan Crawford

116. My last love is just like that string Peter Griffon borrowed from me … Never get it back. – Refinnej Sin

117. You can not put a price tag on love. But if you could, I would wait for it to go on sale. – Hussein Nishah

118. In any perfect relationship, men should remember that it is a matter of direction; she takes what's right and you take what's left. – Solitaire Parke

119. The love is no longer obliged to fit in your farts. – Bree Luckey

120. My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met. – Rodney D

121. Love is like looking for a needle in a haystack. – FaithHopeNLove

122. Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the awakening. – Jewish Proverbangerfield

123. We are like Romeo & Juliet. Except the dying part of course. – Justina

124. The key to a successful relationship is to clear your Internet history. – Quoteistan

125. Love is much more pleasant than an automobile accident, a narrow seatbelt, a higher tax bracket or a retention scheme over Philadelphia. – Judith Viorst

126. Love is a heating blanket with someone else who controls the switch. – Cathy Carlyle

127. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

128. The better she turned, the more I shot badly. – Mark W. Boyer

129. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, have your ears checked. – Erich Segal

130. If only one could say the true love of false love as one can say toads fungi. – Katherine Mansfield

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131. Romantic love is a mental illness. But it's a pleasure. – Fran Lebowitz

132. In love, one way or another, a man's heart always exceeds the speed limit or parked in the wrong place. – Rowland

133. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can pretend, you are in it. – Richard Jeni

134. At home, I am the boss, my wife is only the decision maker. – Woody Allen

135. Love is like a tornado, it lifts you up and sometimes takes half of your house.

136. A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a few days. – Tim Allen

137. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? – Lilly Tomlin

138. The big question that I could not answer … is, "What does a woman want? – Freud

139. People who send kisses are desperately lazy. – Bob Hope

140. Love is blind but marriage is a real revelation. – Pauline Thomason

141. Women are made to be loved and not to be understood. – Oscar Wilde

funny love quotes

142. Marriage is an excellent institution for those who love institutions. – Tommy Dewar

143. Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valery

144. I've read recently that love is a chemistry affair. That must be the reason why my wife treats me like a toxic waste. – David Bissonette

145. Love is a fire. But whether it's heating your home or burning your house, you'll never know it. – Joan Crawford

146. Men come from the land. Women come from the land. Do with. – George Carlin

147. I like you and the situation gets worse. – Joseph E. Morris

148. Love is like an hourglass, the heart filling when the brain empties. – Jules Renard

149. Women marry men in the hope of change. Men marry women hoping that they will not do it. So everyone is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

150. Love can change a person as a parent can change a baby – awkwardly and often with a lot of mess. – Lemon Snicket

151. love; A temporary madness curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce

152. As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: you can be right or you can be happy. – Ralphie May

153. The happiest wedding I can imagine would be the union of a deaf man with a blind woman. – Coleridge

154. The secret of a happy marriage remains secret. – Henry Youngman

155. Whatever your appearance, marry a man of your age – as your beauty fades, so does his sight. – Phyllis Diller

156. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. From time to time, she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante

157. I solemnly swear that I can do nothing, especially when I am alone with you.

158. You are the pain in my buttocks, the slit in my wallet and the scratches in my new car that does not bother me.

159. By all means get married. If you have a good wife, you will be happy. If you take a bad one, you will become a philosopher. – Socrates

160. In love, in one way or another, a man's heart always exceeds the speed limit or parked in the wrong place. – Rowland

161. Marriage is very similar to the army, everyone complains, but you will be surprised at the large number of people who are re-engaging. – James Garner

162. An archaeologist is the best husband that a woman can have. the older she gets, the more she is interested in her. – Agatha Christie

163. I kissed my first daughter and smoked my first cigarette the same day. I have not had time to smoke since. – Arturo Toscanini

164. Love does not invade you unexpectedly; you have to emit signals, much like an amateur radio operator. – Helen Gurley Brown

165. It's as close as I can come to describe: a hot pancake with butter melting on the top and a cup of steaming coffee as soon as I open my eyes. It's wonderful to wake up knowing that you are mine and that I am yours.

166. Marriage is like turning a stick, turning a spring or eating with chopsticks; it sounds easy until you try it. – Helen Rowland

167. I know a man who has stopped smoking, drinking, making love and feeding himself. He was in good health until the moment he was killed. – Johnny Carson

168. True love is like hiding the truth, even when you are offered the perfect opportunity to hurt the feelings of someone. – David Sedaris

169. Marriage is not simply a spiritual communion and a passionate embrace; the wedding, it is also three meals a day and one must not forget to throw garbage. – Joyce Brothers

170. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I come back?

171. When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I do not answer because I eat.

172. When a couple is arguing about who loves who more than him, whoever gives up is the real winner.

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